Saturday, 26 July 2008

Kate Middleton gets her CV plumped up

Kate Middleton? Ambitious? A job?

As calls for her to find more fulfilling employment grow, Kate Middleton's CV has been examined by 3 headhunters and the news is mediocre at best.

The Daily Mail did mock ups of CV's for Kate Middleton, Princes Wills, Harry, Edward and Charles, Camilla and Chelsy, changed their identities and passed them onto 3 (supposedly) unsuspecting headhunters for perusal. The headhunters were clearly unimpressed with all Cv's apart from Wills and Harry's. Arguably, the most interesting given the amount of grief she's been getting for not having a job, is Kate Middleton's mock CV.

Kate's CV included the personal statement: 'My future grandmother-in-law is keen for me to return to full-time employment. This does not concern me, however - I am ambitious, want to get to the very top, and believe I have a lot to offer any employer. I have first-hand experience of the media and have become accustomed to performing in front of reporters, photographers and TV crews, making me well able to represent an organisation in public.' It also includes previous employment that is shamefully small and quite incorrect: 'Accessories Buyer for a fashion company (2005-7); Professional photographer (2007-8)'

The fact that even the Daily Mail can't print the realistic timeframe of Kate's working life at Jigsaw is laughable to say the least. Far from beginning her employment there in 2005 (as the Daily Mail states) Kate started working at the fashion chain in November 2006. Kate spent 18 months post-uni doing nothing, with the empty stories of her concentrating on a children's line that never materialised. It was only after some scrutiny from royal fans and a few negative articles in the press started to appear (and perhaps a few freebies from Belle Robinson) that Middleton finally succumbed to the calls for her to do "something". Hence the role with Jigsaw.

The end result of this plumped up Kate-CV was the 3 headhunters Theo Paphitis, Nick Keeley and Tara Daynes opinions on what careers best suited the idle Middleton. Theo Paphitis concluded: "This is a young lady who wants to get married and have babies. Nothing wrong with that - but until then she needs discipline, a job where she has to take responsibility, instead of all this endless drifting. She would be brilliant on the fund-raising circuit. At the moment she's just killing time."

Nick Keeley took a different approach: "This is a driven and determined, creative and energetic young woman. She needs to focus on her own needs rather than giving in to family pressure, which can only end in tears. I would advise her to start her own photographic business, or perhaps even join the ranks of the paparazzi. She could earn thousands if she gets the right pictures. She shows enough commercial awareness to be a big success."

Tara Daynes said: "Caroline [Kate] should move into the advertising, marketing or media industry. Perhaps rather lacking in discipline, she has taken a rather scattergun approach to her career so far and needs to prove herself in the workplace. She needs to focus on learning some real skills."

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