Chelsy Davy a german sexbomb breadmaker?

Miss Dough 2008: Chelsy?

Those familiar with Australian television may have seen the Helga's bread advertisements from time to time. The ads, well known for their sometimes saucy and laughable (but intentional) outdated content, made this forumator do a double take the other night.

During one advert, a female baker is seductively kneeding dough before asking a younger baking assistant if he'd like a kiss. The female baker looked a lot like Chelsy Davy. What does this mean? Nothing much other than perhaps one should be spending less time over thinking things.

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Daughter Number Three for Norway's Martha Louise

After a discreet pregnancy the only daughter of King Harald V and Queen Sonja of Norway, Princess Martha Louise has announced birth of her third daughter. Emma Tallulah Behn was born on the 29th of September. Princess Martha Louise already has two daughters, Maud Angelica and Isadora, with her husband the writer Ari Behn. Emma Tullulah is now the seventh in line to the Norwegian throne.

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Whoops! When the tabloids got it wrong #1

Daily Mail 13/03/2007 : "Gladys & Fred Mk II..William Hill is giving odds of 5-4 that the couple will make it up the aisle this year. "

WRONG! The couple had reportedly already broken up during their trip to Zermatt when this picture was taken.

News Of The World 29/07/2008: "The Queen and Prince Charles have drawn up a secret two-year intensive training programme which he will start when he quits military life in the New Year."

WRONG! William is set to become a full-time pilot with the Royal Air Force’s Search and Rescue Force (SARF). He will undergo an initial 18 month training course before commencing an operational tour which is normally between 30 to 36 months.

The Sun 9/08/08: "Action girl Kate even tried wakeboarding — and was towed in an inflatable ring, alongside Wills."

WRONG! Er..it's actually "action girl" Pippa Middleton being towed in an inflatable ring, alongside Wills.

Stay tuned for more of "When the tabloids got it wrong"

Prince Charles' 60th Birthdaysssssssss

Charles' 2 great loves: Camilla and Michael Fawcett.

Unless you're that crazy Cat Lady from New York, you only ever celebrate each birthday once. But that sort of logic seems to have been lost on those organising the 60th birthday celebrations for Prince Charles.

Both Camilla and and the eternally present, Michael Fawcett are said to be busy preparing parties for Charles' special day. The first is a state banquet type affair at Buckingham Palace for over 170 invited guests from the Prime Minister to the Queen. This bash is being organised by the Fence Fawcett, reknown for his extravagant do's. The second party will be held at Highgrove by Camilla, this time approximately 75 guests will attend, including Kate Middleton and Chelsy Davy (still unconfirmed).

The dual celebrations have been slammed from all quarters for being indulgent, overtly extravagant and very unnecessary during the current financial crisis sweeping the UK.

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Is Koo Stark related to Kate Middleton?

Koo, Kate....related?

Going out on a limb here: Does Koo Stark remind you of an older version of Kate Middleton?

One thing is for sure. It's sad to see what waiting around for a Prince can do to ones looks*eik!*

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No more warzones for Prince Harry

Harry is now a war-free zone.

As sad as it is for him, Prince Harry has to now come to terms with no longer being deployed overseas to warzones.

According to The People, the MoD has officially made a decision not to send Harry to Afghanistan in the future, citing the danger to other soldiers as the main reason why. The ban only extends to both Iraq and Afghanistan, with Harry able to serve in other places so long as the danger to his fellow soldiers doesn't exist.

A source told The People: "Harry is absolutely desperate to get back to Afghanistan because he is a soldier through and through and he believes there is a vital job to do there. But he is being let down gently because the riskswould be even greater this time. Everybody in his family and his regiment believe he has thoroughly proved himself in every conceivable way as a soldier and he has every reason to be proud. Harry does not see things that way and thinks if he misses out on the most dangerous missions he will be seen as a lightweight soldier."

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Kate Middleton dumps Issa for a new police protection officer

Was Kate wearing her new guard?

Yes that is correct. Kate Middleton will no longer being getting freebies from Issa because she's currently "trying out" police protection officers to see if they fit. Well that's according to the fast becoming bizarre Mandrake column in The Sunday Telegraph.

Telling us that after the hectic scenes last year where Kate had a crowd of paparazzi camped outside her luxury pad in Chelsea and various legal complaints regarding the media, that NOW..yes..NOW William is forking out the money to pay for a guard for Kate.

Call us cynical but really, how can anyone seriously believe that a man who can't/won't pay for his own luxury holidays is finally stumping up the cash for his onff media loving girlfriend to be guarded? Hmm...interesting.

It's interesting due to the fact that Britain is currently in severe economic meltdown and the ordinary folk (who by the way pay for Wills, Charles and Co) are finding times tough. It's interesting due to the fact that Kate Middleton's daddy, Michael, is according to reports, a multimillionaire. It's interesting due to the fact that Kate hasn't been harassed by the paparazzi or press of late. Perhaps if we join the dots on that little nugget we might find that Michael Middleton, being a rich dude who (we assume) loves his daughter and is relatively buffered by his millions from the current cash crisis sweeping the world, could afford to pay for private guards. But that wouldn't make a good story now would it?

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"Charity" a quick fix for that dastardly PR problem for Kate Middleton

Kate Middleton: Always making the Mail On Sunday pages.

The British Royal Family could sometimes be called the monarchial real life version of 80's soap Dynasty and with Kate Middleton around to be the drama's leading lady, big hair and even bigger ego's are not that far away.

Kate Middleton has managed to once again get her name into the media, after her mother Carole announced via their company's website, partypieces.co.uk that Kate was the saviour of all child kind. Ok, we may be taking liberties a bit but according to Carole Middleton, Kate has been "working" hard and organising a link between "charity" and Party Pieces.

As you would expect from a woman who seems desperate for the nagging headlines currently dogging her daughter to go away, Carole boasted online about Kate's involvement in family business and subsequent link to the charity, Starlight. Carole said: "Party Pieces launched First Birthdays at the beginning of the year with Kate managing the project and producing this year’s catalogues and website. We are now very excited to launch our brand new Cherrypicked Collection which has been managed by Vicky our Senior Buyer. She has selected more than 400 wonderful products and developed a new catalogue and a website with Kate. Kate has been the inspiration behind our involvement with Starlight Children’s Foundation, a UK charity that helps brighten the lives of seriously and terminally ill children by granting their wishes and providing hospital entertainment. " Ok..we get it. It was all Kate's doing and she's "working" really hard! Wow, talk about a mother on a mission.

Given that poor old Vicky is the senior buyer and the brains behind the idea (according to Ma Midds) it's strange then that Carole would only focus on Kate's involvement. After the constant crisitism Kate's received these past few weeks it's no wonder that Carole seems to be on the attack. You could be forgiven after reading her blurb for thinking that the old saying "thou dost protest too much" may apply in this situation.

The Starlight connection seems to have come along at a very opportune time for Kate. Nathan Kay from the Mail On Sunday wasn't as positive about it though, saying: "Kate will be hoping the project will help shed her hated image as ‘Waity Katie’, drifting through life until she can marry into the Royal Family." Harsh but very true.

Meanwhile, a source told Mr Kay: ‘When Kate was on the receiving end of a media backlash for her apparent lack of interest in finding a job, she thought it would be a great idea to spend her time working for her parents’ company. Setting up links to the charity should help turn around her work-shy image.’ So its the charity that is helping Kate more so than Kate helping the charity?

Just as Kate was trying desperately to claw back some good publicity, the daggers are out amongst her former friends from St Andy's. According to Nathan Kay, Kate has snubbed them. He writes: "Jules Knight, who studied art history alongside Kate at St Andrews University and lived next door to Prince William, claims several people are 'upset' the 26-year-old appears to have 'made a conscious decision' not to stay in touch. "

Jules told Mr Kay: 'I said, "Listen Kate, everyone just wants you to be happy, and wants the best for you, but it's a shame you haven't been in touch. She said, "Oh I know, I've been really bad, I should really contact them but it's been really difficult because I've been so busy." I said, "These are people who care about you a lot and I think they are a little bit hurt that you haven't been in touch. We care about you and hope you're OK." She asked me to send my love to people but I don't think she has been in touch yet. There was a very tight group of friends at St Andrews and now they are in London and they don't really have any contact with Kate, some girls in particular. It's not like they want to be friends with Kate because of her position, the fact that she's going out with Prince William. I don't want this to sound like sour grapes.'

Looks like Kate has a long way to go before gaining back some of the good sentiment from friends and royal fans alike she's lost since leaving uni.

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"Spitta" Middleton feels Amy Winehouse's wrath

Amy & Pippa: Besties 4 Eva!

Pictures courtesy of The Daily Mail.

She may be famous just for being the sister of the girlfriend of the future King, but it's opening many doors socially for Pippa Middleton. That said, not everyone is as enamoured as the press seems to be with the girl who looks as though she's overdosed on a bottle of tanning solution.

Attending a charity event for the Prince's Trust called the End of Summer Ball in London’s Berkeley Square, Pippa and a host of B-grade celebs and society types were supposed to be entertained by the eternally newsworthy Amy Winehouse. Amy, it seems, was backstage in a total drug/alcohol meltdown but it was once she was busy mingling with the elite that things turned sour for Pippa.

The Daily Star reported: "The singer was involved in a bizarre fracas with Prince William’s girlfriend’s younger sister Pippa, 24, at a society ball." An onlooker told the newspaper: “The fight with Pippa was terrible. Amy tried to brush it off as a joke and said she had just choked and spat out a canape at Pippa by mistake, but it didn’t ring true.” After spitting at her, Amy then reportedly told Pippa: “Don’t get the old dear [The Queen] to chop me head off.”

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Princess Marie talks about babies

Princess Marie, Prince Joachim, Nikolai and Felix.

Picture courtesy of Hello!

Denmark's newest addition, Princess Marie has openly discussed her new step-children, love and the prospects of having a baby.

Speaking from Geneva, where she was spending the weekend, Marie told Hello!: "Everyone knows I want to have children, kids are so sweet," said the France-born royal, who is a loving stepmother to her husband's boys, Nikolai and Felix. It's a private matter. But there are always reports that I'm pregnant every week, so perhaps they'll be right one day."

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The Bargain Princess Beatrice

Princess Beatrice on her first day of university.

Picture courtesy of The Daily Mail.

Princess Beatrice has just started at Goldsmiths College, London studying for a BA in History and History of Ideas. She's living at St James Palace and she reportedly has a personal fortune of £5million.

But this is one princess that's more like the rest of her peers of the same age with regards to her taste in fashion. The Queen's granddaughter was spotted in Primark (well known for it's bargain fashions) buying a £14 black and white dress.

A young Queen Victoria.

Just another interesting tidbit on Beatrice: One of the Royal Truth regular's, Heather pointed out the similarities between a young Queen Victoria and Princess Beatrice. Compare both of the pictures accompanying this blog and let us know what you think.

Click here to read more about Beatrice's first day of student life.
Click here to read more about Beatrice's bargain hunting.

Hot Prince Alert: Prince Carl Philp of Sweden

Carliscious!
Picture courtesy of Zimbio

Sweden's Prince Carl Philip appeared somewhere for something the other day at something to do with a burgerking. *drools*

Let's get serious here. Sweden's Prince Carl Philip was in Hamburg on Wednesday to exchange gifts with Hamburg´s Burgermeister Ole Von Beust and sign the Hamburg Golden Book. Enough said.

Click here to see more of Prince Carl Philip.

Kate Middleton makes an arse of herself

Is that Kate with her lady lumps?

Picture courtesy of The Sun

After her fantastic venture into (what was supposed to be) 80's Rollerdisco, Kate has become somewhat of a joke for the UK's media. One such laughfest was ITV's Celebrity Juice, a show that pokes a bit of fun at the celebrity's currently in the news.

For the show's frontman, Leigh Francis and his alter ego Keith Lemon, Kate was a too good an opportunity to miss. In the show Keith dressed up as Kate at the rollerdisco, green halter top and yellow pants and all. The shows aim is for a panel of guests to work out who it is Keith is depicting. No one had any trouble guessing it was S-Katie Waity.

Click here to see the video and read more.

Is Kate Middleton cashing in?

Kate is now appearing online!

All pictures courtesy of Party Pieces

Kate Middleton is reportedly working for her parents at their Party Pieces business and it seems that now, after much criticism and disbelief among the growing throng of skeptics, it looks as though the Middleton's have thrown off the gloves and come out swinging in defence of Kate. Not only have they suddenly become avid supporters of a children's charity, Starlight, it appears as though they're on PR overdrive in effort to sell their products as well.

Harry is warm and cuddly!

Now for the first time ever, Kate has appeared on the Party Pieces website along side her mother and another woman called Vicky promoting the "Cherrypicked" collection. This collection is an assortment of gifts and novelty items for children. From the outlook of a dewy, soft lens it seems that Kate is now being used to promote the various Party Pieces products. Interestingly, some of the children's products she's now keenly promoting, bear some pretty famous names.

James appears dressed this time.

Included in Party Pieces collection are various personalised gifts one can purchase for those littlies special to us, individualised with their names. From a Pirate Clock, blanket and a washbag, you too could be kitted out with some pretty naff and useless things.

Kate could use this whenever Wills calls her for a night of passion.

What is more interesting than Kate's face now being put with overpriced products is the names being used on them. There's a blanket emblazoned with the name Harry, a washbag called Kate and teddy bear called James, but the most interesting seems to be the personalised clock. The forementioned Pirate Clock is adorned with the name William. Could this be sending Wills a message that time (and perhaps Kate) waits for no one? Times ticking William.

Tick tock.....

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Spanish Queen makes an ass of herself

Queen Sofia gets to know her new friend.

Picture courtesy of Hola!

Apologies to Queen Sofia of Spain, but it was too good to ignore.

The wonderful Spanish Queen helped to baptise donkeys in Rute (Córdoba). Excellent news!

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Prince Albert may or may not be marrying Charlene Wittstock

Maybe..maybe not!

Picture courtesy of The Daily Mail.

We're not sure but we're being told that Prince Albert of Monaco may be about to announce his engagement to former South African swimmer Charlene Wittstock.

Having been together for 2 years, it seems the pair may be ready to settle down and start making legitimate babies.

An unidentified source told Gala magazine: 'The Prince and Charlene are deeply in love and after two years together they want to make it official. They want to do it for themselves, but it will also mean any children they have are legitimate heirs to the throne.'

Hooray for legitimate children! They're so much better than those other yucky bastards.

Click here to join the waiting game.

When is a Eugenie not a Eugenie? When she's a Beatrice of course!

Princess Beatrice!

Photo courtesy of The Daily Mail.

It's not earth shattering news but it seems Princess Eugenie is a tad delicate when mistaken for older sister Princess Beatrice.

According to our favourite British tabloid, The Daily Star, Eugenie was aghast when someone called her Beatrice. The Daily Star said: "The younger princess, 18, right, was chuffed when a handsome man said she was Fergie and Andrew’s favourite daughter, but mistakenly called her Beatrice, 20, left, who was also in the club. Oops. "

One would wonder what is so bad about being called (by mistake) Beatrice. You can understand Beatrice's... oops ..sorry, Eugenie's loathing had she been called Camilla!

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ASDA shoppers wanna be just like S-Katie Waitie

S-Kate rolls on into her local ASDA.

It may just have been a convenient plug for their chain of shops, but ASDA is sprucking about how great Kate Middleton is for their business.

According to The Daily Star, ASDA's supply of rollerskates is "rolling" out the doors of their shops, with sales going up a staggering 400%. An Asda spokesman (who was actually a woman), Helen Heseltine, told The Daily Star: “Shoppers have been inspired by her roller girl laid-back look. “And they are keen to copy her toned, disco appearance.” That or they're clearly insane?

We all know what this means. There are 400% more people out there who are crazy enough to want to be like Kate Middleton. Copykates!

Roll on folks!

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