Barbie Kate & Ken Wills

Royal Truth mockup: How Kate & Wills may or may not have looked.

According to a report in ES Magazine, Wills (and you would think Kate as well) attended a themed party during their stay on Mustique. The party was held in a villa fragrantly called 'Frangipani'. With Wills and Kate's aristo social circle well known for their 'themed' parties (we all remember Kate's attempt at a naff 80's ski outfit - she could only keep half of it on), one wonders if this pair will ever grow up and start acting like adults? Barbie is an appropriate person for Kate to model herself upon, she is afterall, about as useful and just as plastic. Don't stand to close to the fire Waity.

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Kate Middleton wins bronze in the tabloid stakes

Oops...Kate did it again.

Picture courtesy Big Pictures

To some she looked like a piece of over cooked beef jerky, but to the UK tabloid media she was as stunning as ever. Kate Middleton and Prince William have once again managed to cause a minor earthquake in tabloid circles by appearing outside Raffles on a night out.

The sunny Daily Express again focusses on Kate.

Not only was the heir to the heir worse for wear but his onff girlfriend was also looking a bit too unsteady on her feet as the pair left the very high profile London club at 4am in the morning. Kate managed to once again show us her knickers as she clumsily climbed into the backseat of Wills' car. This was reminiscent of the numerous knicker shots Kate either wittingly or unwittingly gave to the paparazzi last year during her break up with Wills.

But of course along with the usual jibes about Prince William's unsteadiness are the numerous references to the stunning Miss Middleton. A quick read of the comments sections for both the Daily Mail and The Sun show that the tabloids readers don't share the opinions of the writers, with most critical of Wills but more so of Middleton. The only tabloid that didn't seem to drip with sycophanticness (if there is such a word) was The Mirror, whose writer had a jolly good chuckle at the drunk pair.

Daily Star focusses on Kate's shiny legs.

At least this is heaven for the tabloids during the "silly season" of the year. It's when the stories dry up because many of the celebs and journalists take off on holiday overseas. Now that Kate is back in the UK perhaps the media will have someone to entertain them?

The Mirror has a bit of a joke!

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News just in: Kate Middleton & Prince William party at Raffles

They've only just gotten home and already they've hit the clubs in London. Prince William and Kate Middleton were seen leaving Raffles in London on Thursday evening. Both looking tanned and relaxed, they also seemed to have "enjoyed" the night a little too much. Kate's problem of not being able to get out of bed to get a job seems to have been solved, instead she decided to stay out with Wills until 4am Friday morning.

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Prince William's gone and ruined it for everyone

Prince William offers people a lift on his free Chinook.

It appears that Wills' time in the RAF is still haunting his popularity and overall public image. During his time as a Ft. Lt, Prince William was accused of using RAF aircraft for his own pleasure, having landed a helicopter in Kate Middleton's backyard, flying brother Harry to a stag party as well as at least 2 other un-needed flights here and there. He was also criticised for the apparent PR ploy when he "flew" the body of a dead soldier home from Afghanistan. Now his jaunts have cost fellow sailors and pilots the chance of a flypast honouring the return of the "Ark Royal" from an exercise in the US.

A leaked email reveals that the senior officers feared a flypast of a Harrier jet would cause unwanted criticisms in light of the William fiasco. A request for the flight was denied with this explanation: "With regard to the flypast, taking into account the recent coverage of Chinooks and Princes and naïve publicity stunts that waste taxpayers’ money, I would strongly advise that you do not do this. I do think it is a great story, but the fly-past at this stage has a serious chance of backfiring."

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Lesotho pub owner ruins "No shirts for Prince Harry" campaign

Prince Harry almost shirtless - a Harryite favourite!

It was bound to happen sooner or later. Moving like a snowball down an icy hill so too was the growing campaign from Harryites everywhere to keep shirts off Prince Harry. But alas, a spanner - or more appropriately a shirt - has been thrown in the works.

Whilst visiting the Hop Inn in Lesotho, Harry was told he had to shout a round of drinks for his fellow soldiers. The hellacious Prince didn't have any money unfortunately and asked bar owner, Brian Sables if he could pay him back later (which he did).

This is where Harryites everywhere sobbed in ab-distress. It seems that whilst there, Harry was given a "Hop Inn" tshirt. Mr Sables said: “He was such a down to earth bloke.”

Such a down to earth bloke now with an extra shirt much to the chagrin of Harryites waiting for one of Harry's now famous shirtless pictures that we get every British summer.

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Can the tabloids get anything right about Kate Middleton & Prince William?

When is a honeymoon not a honeymoon?

We all know how the tabloid press can turn nothing at all into something and that's exactly what they've done with Kate Middleton & Prince William's luxury break away in Mustique. To the Mail On Sunday, it's a practice run for a real Honeymoon.

James and Pippa circled.

Picture courtesy of The Daily Star.

With every publication telling us how romantic the trip is, the pictures are revealing that it's also a family affair for Kate. Both Pippa and James can be seen in the boat with Wills watching Kate wakeboarding. Interesting for a honeymoon trial run don't you think?

The Mail On Sunday rips off The Sun's claim: 'It is the couple's first holiday together in two and a half years and has fuelled speculation of an engagement.' It's common knowledge that the pair were in Mustique together in May this year so where the writer, a one Ms Sharon Churcher, gets her information from is baffling to say the least. Perhaps she should stop reading The Sun.

Kate & Wills get animated.

Meanwhile the Daily Star Sunday gives us the scoop via Clive Goodman that Wills and Kate are to be immortalised on The Simpsons. No longer will Kate's skin be tinged orange (through over indulging in fake tan no doubt) as she will get a very fashionable yellow hue instead. Fortunately for Wills, he will get a hat to cover his baldspot.

Mick Jagger serenades Wills and Kate.

The Sunday Mirror tells us that Mick Jagger serenaded the young couple during a party for the 40th anniversary of the Mustique Company.

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Kate Middleton's family revealed!

The wacky and wild Middletons.

Please don't panic but The Daily Mail has finally caught up with royal fans. In today's edition, Richard Kay and Geoffrey Levy have written an "exposé " piece on the "other" Middleton children, Pippa and James.

The article shows a picture (long known to royal fans) of Kate's little brother James, clad in a woman's dress at a party. It also shows Pippa Middleton strangely wrapped in toiletpaper but it's the claims about James that are most intriguing.

One claim about the 3rd and some would say least attractive Middleton child is that once Kate and Wills became a publicised item, James' mousy personality changed to that of a loud and over the top yahoo. Kay & Levy quote one of James' fellow former-Marlborough students: 'He noticeably became a bit posher and a lot louder. He'd always been a fairly quiet chap who nobody much noticed. But when his sister started being in the papers with Prince William, he seemed to take on a much louder and bolder persona - a bit arrogant, really. He loved the reflected glory of it all and played up to it. Outside his immediate circle of friends, no one there liked him much because of it.'

Dubbed by the 2 journalists as a "university dropout who abandoned his English Literature degree course at Edinburgh and declared that he wants to be an entrepreneur like his parents" James is reportedly upset that the paparazzi don't recognise him. He was even allegedly denied entry to Kate's favourite haunt, Boujis because security didn't know who he was.

Of Pippa, Kay & Levy are less damning to a point. Apart from repeating well known blurbs about her social aspirations, they quote a Middleton family friend: 'Pippa's more fun, more relaxed than Kate - and, frankly, she's also prettier. Kate was always quite jealous of Pippa. I sensed that she feared being eclipsed by her, because Pippa has more natural effervescence, is socially much more at ease and was always popular with everyone, especially James's friends.'

Enjoyably, Levy & Kay manage to throw in some discreet references to Kate's lack of employment and interestingly report that Kate is trying to use her position as the onff girlfriend of Prince William to her own advantage: 'But Pippa is at least working and earning her own living, while the Queen continues to observe with disapproval Kate's continued lack of a job. For her part, Kate has been trying to reinvent herself as a photographer, helping out at her parents' firm by taking pictures for their website of the cakes James has iced. Believing that her relationship with Prince William was bound to help, she has been canvassing top studio photographers with a view to being taken on as a trainee. Surprisingly, the Royal Family's huge influence cannot be made to stretch this far.' They then quote an unnamed source: 'One important photographer was listening well enough until she explained she wanted to do a four-day week and would have to be given leave whenever William was in town. He sent her away with a flea in her ear.'

The last time the picture of James in a dress (as well as other pictures) made a public appearence online, a few mysterious lurkers etc were recorded on an unnamed royal internet site including an IP that belonged to a certain children's party paraphernalia business. Let's see what happens this time.

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