Quote of the day: Camilla Vs Pussycat Dolls

Which would you prefer? Camilla or the Pussycat Dolls?

Graham Norton during rehearsals for the Royal Variety Show, which will be attended by Prince Charles and his wife, Camilla: “And there you have the Pussycat Dolls singing to the Prince, ‘Don’t cha wish your girlfriend was hot like me?’.”

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The Oriental 'Royal' Express: Camilla & Prince Charles in Japan

You want one to wear this much makeup? What on earth for?
Picture courtesy of Abaca Press.

Prince Charles & the Duchess of Cornwall have kicked off their tour of Japan by visiting the Miraikan Museum of Emerging Science and Innovation and the Keio University.

Whilst Charles watched a dancing robot, the locals were obviously giving Camilla a few hints on covering up her face.

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Those appalling waxworks Prince Charles & Camilla, tour Japan

Charles & Camilla are clearly thrilled to be in Japan.
Picture courtesy of Getty Images.

Charles & Camilla have jetted to Japan for a 5 day tour. Greeted at the Tokyo International Airport by Charles' Japanese counterpart, Crown Prince Naruhito, the British royal couple looked less than impressed.

Princess Diana in Japan.
Picture courtesy of Getty Images.

Perhaps they were a little jetlagged? Or perhaps Charles is remembering his 1986 tour of Japan with then wife, Diana the Princess of Wales. The late Princess was a sensation and became a huge hit with the Japanese people, who still remember her with great fondness.

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Charles & Camilla: Childish old twits?

'Jovial' tin: eh...

Picture courtesy of The Sun.

It was Christmas time 1977 and Charles and Camilla were obviously bored. So bored that they graffitied all over a chocolate box with crude jokes and the like. Perhaps there were bored because Camilla was heavily pregnant with daughter Laura at the time.

The pair drew such things as a pile of manure and writing "two old poofs" in reference to the 2 gentlemen pictured on the tin.

In 1 scribble, Camilla has signed her name 'Camilla Parker Bowles' from which a line is drawn to the words 'Silly old horse'. Very apt don't you think?

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Royal joke of the day...

Prince Charles & his untrusty steed.

Cartoon Courtesy of The Daily Mail.

Graham Norton, The Graham Norton Show, BBC2 used such phrases as: "Camilla looks like a man in a dress" & "She wants to run in the Grand National."

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It ain't half hot south of the equator ma'am!

Ouch! It's hot..poor me!

Camilla, the Duchess of Cornwall (husband thief extraordinaire), will return 4 days earlier than Charles from their tour of East Asia. Both Camilla and Charles were due to fly to Japan, Brunei and Indonesia in late October but it seems Camilla's a bit delicate when it comes to the heat in such tropical climates.

Forgetting the fact that she has endured such high temperatures during her many luxury cruises abroad and that she has just seen the end of the British summer, it seems that the trip to Asia will be far 'too arduous' for the 61 year-old.

The Daily Mail quoted Graham Smith, of anti-monarchist group Republic: 'If Camilla wants to enjoy the taxpayer funded perks of being a member of the Royal Family she needs to pull her weight.'

Both the Queen, 82 year-old and Prince Philip, 87 year-old, do double the public engagements each year than Camilla, who is over 20 years their junior.

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Prince Harry pays tribute to his godfather

Camilla, Harry & Charles at Gerald Ward's funeral.

Picture courtesy of the Daily Express Weekend.

Prince Harry has attended the funeral for his godfather and good friend to Prince Charles, Gerald Ward. The 70 year-old died after suffering a heartattack whilst playing golf. Harry and Camilla's son, Tom, acted as ushers during the service.

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Prince Charles' 60th Birthdaysssssssss

Charles' 2 great loves: Camilla and Michael Fawcett.

Unless you're that crazy Cat Lady from New York, you only ever celebrate each birthday once. But that sort of logic seems to have been lost on those organising the 60th birthday celebrations for Prince Charles.

Both Camilla and and the eternally present, Michael Fawcett are said to be busy preparing parties for Charles' special day. The first is a state banquet type affair at Buckingham Palace for over 170 invited guests from the Prime Minister to the Queen. This bash is being organised by the Fence Fawcett, reknown for his extravagant do's. The second party will be held at Highgrove by Camilla, this time approximately 75 guests will attend, including Kate Middleton and Chelsy Davy (still unconfirmed).

The dual celebrations have been slammed from all quarters for being indulgent, overtly extravagant and very unnecessary during the current financial crisis sweeping the UK.

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Kate Middleton gets her CV plumped up

Kate Middleton? Ambitious? A job?

As calls for her to find more fulfilling employment grow, Kate Middleton's CV has been examined by 3 headhunters and the news is mediocre at best.

The Daily Mail did mock ups of CV's for Kate Middleton, Princes Wills, Harry, Edward and Charles, Camilla and Chelsy, changed their identities and passed them onto 3 (supposedly) unsuspecting headhunters for perusal. The headhunters were clearly unimpressed with all Cv's apart from Wills and Harry's. Arguably, the most interesting given the amount of grief she's been getting for not having a job, is Kate Middleton's mock CV.

Kate's CV included the personal statement: 'My future grandmother-in-law is keen for me to return to full-time employment. This does not concern me, however - I am ambitious, want to get to the very top, and believe I have a lot to offer any employer. I have first-hand experience of the media and have become accustomed to performing in front of reporters, photographers and TV crews, making me well able to represent an organisation in public.' It also includes previous employment that is shamefully small and quite incorrect: 'Accessories Buyer for a fashion company (2005-7); Professional photographer (2007-8)'

The fact that even the Daily Mail can't print the realistic timeframe of Kate's working life at Jigsaw is laughable to say the least. Far from beginning her employment there in 2005 (as the Daily Mail states) Kate started working at the fashion chain in November 2006. Kate spent 18 months post-uni doing nothing, with the empty stories of her concentrating on a children's line that never materialised. It was only after some scrutiny from royal fans and a few negative articles in the press started to appear (and perhaps a few freebies from Belle Robinson) that Middleton finally succumbed to the calls for her to do "something". Hence the role with Jigsaw.

The end result of this plumped up Kate-CV was the 3 headhunters Theo Paphitis, Nick Keeley and Tara Daynes opinions on what careers best suited the idle Middleton. Theo Paphitis concluded: "This is a young lady who wants to get married and have babies. Nothing wrong with that - but until then she needs discipline, a job where she has to take responsibility, instead of all this endless drifting. She would be brilliant on the fund-raising circuit. At the moment she's just killing time."

Nick Keeley took a different approach: "This is a driven and determined, creative and energetic young woman. She needs to focus on her own needs rather than giving in to family pressure, which can only end in tears. I would advise her to start her own photographic business, or perhaps even join the ranks of the paparazzi. She could earn thousands if she gets the right pictures. She shows enough commercial awareness to be a big success."

Tara Daynes said: "Caroline [Kate] should move into the advertising, marketing or media industry. Perhaps rather lacking in discipline, she has taken a rather scattergun approach to her career so far and needs to prove herself in the workplace. She needs to focus on learning some real skills."

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Camilla told to halt spending

The Duchess of Cornwall has been told to reduce her wasteful ways. According to the Daily Express Weekend's Adam Helliker, the Duchess of Cornwall has been ordered to cancel her annual luxury cruise with female friends in favour of a more austere existance. Mr Helliker writes: 'The Duchess has bowed to pressure from aides at Clarence House that any photos of her on a jolly would be “unhelpful to the ongoing cause of promoting our image”. Those aides are particularly sensitive about unnecessary travel just when Prince Charles’s accounts have stated that he has reduced his carbon footprint by 18 per cent. The same report also revealed that Camilla undertook fewer engagements last year than before.'

After recycling her birthday suit (now there's a mental image you didn't need) from last year, it seems HRH Camilla is trying her hardest to cut back whereever she can. But is this a genuine move on her part to save royal finances in a show of sympathy for the plight of those who are suffering due to the credit crunch? A "royal source" tells the Express: “Camilla has been told that she has to be aware of the national mood at a time when the whole country is tightening its belt. It’s annoying for her because she particularly enjoys these breaks with her friends, not least because she has zero responsibilities to anyone while she’s on board, but she’s been convinced that her husband’s advisers know best.”

It seems that apart from the fact she can't go on holiday, the one thing that is bugging Camilla more is that she must instead spend time with her loving husband. The Express reports: 'This ban on Camilla is likely to be even more irritating for her because it effectively ties her to spending more time with Charles at a time when she is said to find it particularly difficult dealing with his “grumpy and irritable” temperament.'

Is this yet another example of a onff royal relationship?

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Kate Middleton speaks to the press..again!

Often lauded for her discreet nature, Kate Middleton has once again been caught out talking to the press. For the second time in a year the Daily Mail's Rebecca English has managed to wrangle a direct quote from the Princess in Waiting. Having obviously called the royal girlfriend whilst she holidays in Mustique, the Daily Mail reporter (or one of her underlings) quizzed Kate about whether she was having a good time. The Daily Mail said: 'Yesterday, asked on the phone if they were having a fun time, Miss Middleton replied "Yes" but she would not comment on the engagement rumours. She said: "I'm terribly sorry but I will not talk about that. I am truly sorry but please excuse me."'

Ok, it's not earth shattering stuff but it does disprove the theories that Kate refuses to talk to the press or keeps her composure by not responding to media reports. In 2007 before her split with Prince William, Kate was asked by the Daily Mail's Rebecca English to respond to the flurry of revelations regarding William's flirtations with other women. Kate responded with a terse "It means nothing," before telling Ms English that women will always throw themselves at William. This is not the first time a reporter has revealed they've got a direct line to Kate Middleton. The Express's Camilla Tominey also revealed how she called Kate. This begs the question. How do the loathed likes of the press get Middleton's phone number and why do they feel as though they're close enough to directly quote her, especially given the fact Kate is on holiday in another country?

This closely resembles the media relationship that another past royal girlfriend had with the press many moons ago.

Camilla Parker Bowles had a working relationship with The Sun's Stuart Higgins over a ten year period. Of course many speculated on where Mr Higgins was getting his very accurate accounts of the failing Wales marriage. Most considered the fact it was coming from a member within the Prince of Wales' circle and many were completely correct. But all accusations were met with denials both from the Prince of Wales's set and from Mr Higgins himself. It wasn't until years later that the former Sun reporter revealed the extent of his relationship with Camilla. At least once a week Camilla would give Stuart Higgins details of the goings on within Charles and Diana's marriage.

Respected royal author Sarah Bradford wrote about the Higgins/Camilla relationship: 'For years Camilla had secret --off-the-record telephone conversations with the editor of the Sun newspaper, Stuart Higgins - a curious relationship which illustrated the web of understanding and complicity in the circle around Charles. 'I didn't sense that she and the Prince were out of touch,' Higgins recalled. ' I talked to her once a week about Diana and Charles. She guided me on things that were not true or things that were off the beam.' He would run stories past her as a check and he could hear her, hand half- cupped over the receiver, repeating them to her husband. ' Guess what they're saying about us now, Andrew,' she would call out, and even the tabloid editor was astonished by their openness about her affair with Charles.'

Perhaps the idea of Kate Middleton also having rich working relationships with various tabloid journalists isn't that far fetched after all? Perhaps it's a case of history repeating itself and Prince William should be wary.

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Prince Charles has growth removed

Prince Charles has had a non-cancerous growth, located below his right eye, removed. Clarence House refused to comment other than to say the growth removal was part of a 'minor surgical procedure'. The Prince is now sporting a nifty piece of plaster under his eye. No mention as to whether Camilla indulged in some facial surgery at the same time, although recent pictures suggest she was in dire need of some 'uplifting'.

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