Friday, 22 August 2008

Barbie Kate & Ken Wills

Royal Truth mockup: How Kate & Wills may or may not have looked.

According to a report in ES Magazine, Wills (and you would think Kate as well) attended a themed party during their stay on Mustique. The party was held in a villa fragrantly called 'Frangipani'. With Wills and Kate's aristo social circle well known for their 'themed' parties (we all remember Kate's attempt at a naff 80's ski outfit - she could only keep half of it on), one wonders if this pair will ever grow up and start acting like adults? Barbie is an appropriate person for Kate to model herself upon, she is afterall, about as useful and just as plastic. Don't stand to close to the fire Waity.

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Saturday, 16 August 2008

Kate Middleton wins bronze in the tabloid stakes

Oops...Kate did it again.
Picture courtesy Big Pictures
To some she looked like a piece of over cooked beef jerky, but to the UK tabloid media she was as stunning as ever. Kate Middleton and Prince William have once again managed to cause a minor earthquake in tabloid circles by appearing outside Raffles on a night out.

The sunny Daily Express again focusses on Kate.

Not only was the heir to the heir worse for wear but his onff girlfriend was also looking a bit too unsteady on her feet as the pair left the very high profile London club at 4am in the morning. Kate managed to once again show us her knickers as she clumsily climbed into the backseat of Wills' car. This was reminiscent of the numerous knicker shots Kate either wittingly or unwittingly gave to the paparazzi last year during her break up with Wills.

But of course along with the usual jibes about Prince William's unsteadiness are the numerous references to the stunning Miss Middleton. A quick read of the comments sections for both the Daily Mail and The Sun show that the tabloids readers don't share the opinions of the writers, with most critical of Wills but more so of Middleton. The only tabloid that didn't seem to drip with sycophanticness (if there is such a word) was The Mirror, whose writer had a jolly good chuckle at the drunk pair.

Daily Star focusses on Kate's shiny legs.

At least this is heaven for the tabloids during the "silly season" of the year. It's when the stories dry up because many of the celebs and journalists take off on holiday overseas. Now that Kate is back in the UK perhaps the media will have someone to entertain them?

The Mirror has a bit of a joke!

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Friday, 15 August 2008

News just in: Kate Middleton & Prince William party at Raffles

They've only just gotten home and already they've hit the clubs in London. Prince William and Kate Middleton were seen leaving Raffles in London on Thursday evening. Both looking tanned and relaxed, they also seemed to have "enjoyed" the night a little too much. Kate's problem of not being able to get out of bed to get a job seems to have been solved, instead she decided to stay out with Wills until 4am Friday morning.

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Prince William's gone and ruined it for everyone

Prince William offers people a lift on his free Chinook.

It appears that Wills' time in the RAF is still haunting his popularity and overall public image. During his time as a Ft. Lt, Prince William was accused of using RAF aircraft for his own pleasure, having landed a helicopter in Kate Middleton's backyard, flying brother Harry to a stag party as well as at least 2 other un-needed flights here and there. He was also criticised for the apparent PR ploy when he "flew" the body of a dead soldier home from Afghanistan. Now his jaunts have cost fellow sailors and pilots the chance of a flypast honouring the return of the "Ark Royal" from an exercise in the US.

A leaked email reveals that the senior officers feared a flypast of a Harrier jet would cause unwanted criticisms in light of the William fiasco. A request for the flight was denied with this explanation: "With regard to the flypast, taking into account the recent coverage of Chinooks and Princes and naïve publicity stunts that waste taxpayers’ money, I would strongly advise that you do not do this. I do think it is a great story, but the fly-past at this stage has a serious chance of backfiring."

Lesotho pub owner ruins "No shirts for Prince Harry" campaign

Prince Harry almost shirtless - a Harryite favourite!

It was bound to happen sooner or later. Moving like a snowball down an icy hill so too was the growing campaign from Harryites everywhere to keep shirts off Prince Harry. But alas, a spanner - or more appropriately a shirt - has been thrown in the works.

Whilst visiting the Hop Inn in Lesotho, Harry was told he had to shout a round of drinks for his fellow soldiers. The hellacious Prince didn't have any money unfortunately and asked bar owner, Brian Sables if he could pay him back later (which he did).

This is where Harryites everywhere sobbed in ab-distress. It seems that whilst there, Harry was given a "Hop Inn" tshirt. Mr Sables said: “He was such a down to earth bloke.”

Such a down to earth bloke now with an extra shirt much to the chagrin of Harryites waiting for one of Harry's now famous shirtless pictures that we get every British summer.

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Sunday, 10 August 2008

Can the tabloids get anything right about Kate Middleton & Prince William?

When is a honeymoon not a honeymoon?

We all know how the tabloid press can turn nothing at all into something and that's exactly what they've done with Kate Middleton & Prince William's luxury break away in Mustique. To the Mail On Sunday, it's a practice run for a real Honeymoon.

James and Pippa circled.

Picture courtesy of The Daily Star.

With every publication telling us how romantic the trip is, the pictures are revealing that it's also a family affair for Kate. Both Pippa and James can be seen in the boat with Wills watching Kate wakeboarding. Interesting for a honeymoon trial run don't you think?

The Mail On Sunday rips off The Sun's claim: 'It is the couple's first holiday together in two and a half years and has fuelled speculation of an engagement.' It's common knowledge that the pair were in Mustique together in May this year so where the writer, a one Ms Sharon Churcher, gets her information from is baffling to say the least. Perhaps she should stop reading The Sun.

Kate & Wills get animated.

Meanwhile the Daily Star Sunday gives us the scoop via Clive Goodman that Wills and Kate are to be immortalised on The Simpsons. No longer will Kate's skin be tinged orange (through over indulging in fake tan no doubt) as she will get a very fashionable yellow hue instead. Fortunately for Wills, he will get a hat to cover his baldspot.

Mick Jagger serenades Wills and Kate.

The Sunday Mirror tells us that Mick Jagger serenaded the young couple during a party for the 40th anniversary of the Mustique Company.

Saturday, 9 August 2008

Kate Middleton's family revealed!

The wacky and wild Middletons.

Please don't panic but The Daily Mail has finally caught up with royal fans. In today's edition, Richard Kay and Geoffrey Levy have written an "exposé " piece on the "other" Middleton children, Pippa and James.

The article shows a picture (long known to royal fans) of Kate's little brother James, clad in a woman's dress at a party. It also shows Pippa Middleton strangely wrapped in toiletpaper but it's the claims about James that are most intriguing.

One claim about the 3rd and some would say least attractive Middleton child is that once Kate and Wills became a publicised item, James' mousy personality changed to that of a loud and over the top yahoo. Kay & Levy quote one of James' fellow former-Marlborough students: 'He noticeably became a bit posher and a lot louder. He'd always been a fairly quiet chap who nobody much noticed. But when his sister started being in the papers with Prince William, he seemed to take on a much louder and bolder persona - a bit arrogant, really. He loved the reflected glory of it all and played up to it. Outside his immediate circle of friends, no one there liked him much because of it.'

Dubbed by the 2 journalists as a "university dropout who abandoned his English Literature degree course at Edinburgh and declared that he wants to be an entrepreneur like his parents" James is reportedly upset that the paparazzi don't recognise him. He was even allegedly denied entry to Kate's favourite haunt, Boujis because security didn't know who he was.

Of Pippa, Kay & Levy are less damning to a point. Apart from repeating well known blurbs about her social aspirations, they quote a Middleton family friend: 'Pippa's more fun, more relaxed than Kate - and, frankly, she's also prettier. Kate was always quite jealous of Pippa. I sensed that she feared being eclipsed by her, because Pippa has more natural effervescence, is socially much more at ease and was always popular with everyone, especially James's friends.'

Enjoyably, Levy & Kay manage to throw in some discreet references to Kate's lack of employment and interestingly report that Kate is trying to use her position as the onff girlfriend of Prince William to her own advantage: 'But Pippa is at least working and earning her own living, while the Queen continues to observe with disapproval Kate's continued lack of a job. For her part, Kate has been trying to reinvent herself as a photographer, helping out at her parents' firm by taking pictures for their website of the cakes James has iced. Believing that her relationship with Prince William was bound to help, she has been canvassing top studio photographers with a view to being taken on as a trainee. Surprisingly, the Royal Family's huge influence cannot be made to stretch this far.' They then quote an unnamed source: 'One important photographer was listening well enough until she explained she wanted to do a four-day week and would have to be given leave whenever William was in town. He sent her away with a flea in her ear.'

The last time the picture of James in a dress (as well as other pictures) made a public appearence online, a few mysterious lurkers etc were recorded on an unnamed royal internet site including an IP that belonged to a certain children's party paraphernalia business. Let's see what happens this time.

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Kate Middleton & Prince William pictured on holidays

The Sun's scoop on the Wait-cation in Mustique.

Kate Middleton and Prince William have been photographed holidaying in Mustique. The Sun newspaper has scooped many others by obtaining pictures of the pair on a boat. Rumours had spread during their earlier trip to Mustique that cameras are not allowed and that authorities on the island heavily protect the water's surrounding it so as to ensure the privacy of the islands inhabitants. But it seems these were the mumblings of misinformed internet pranksters because The Sun now shows 4 new pictures of the couple having fun on a boat.

The Sun's article was bizzarely short and it's interesting to note that even with 3 different journalists penning the blurb they still managed to get a simple fact wrong. The Sun states: "A royal insider said: “It’s the first time they have been seen on summer holiday for 2½ years." It was plainly wrong because over the past 2½ years Wills & Kate have been pictured taking no less than 3 summer breaks together as a couple (August/September 2006 - Ibiza, August 2007 - Seyschelles and May 2008 - Mustique).

Meanwhile over the last 2½ years Kate has reportedly managed to take 22 breaks away in various locations. That's an average of 1 trip away almost every 6 weeks. One rather witty Royal Truth member dubbed Kate's numerous holidays as "Wait-cations". It's sure to stick from now on!

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Friday, 8 August 2008

Just a passing phase....

The article that kicked off the latest rumours about Prince Philips health.

Is it a passing phase or have the press decided it's time to kill off old Prince Philip? I can hear the keyboards tapping away in a desperate ploy for something newsworthy during the tabloid "silly season".

It seems the old boy only has to fart and then he's condemned to a deathly disease. The latest is a report that first surfaced in The Evening Standard alleging the DoE (Philip) was recently diagnosed with Prostate Cancer. Whether true or not, let's hope people give him a break. He is after all, 86 years of age.

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Strange woman wants to "low bow" Prince Harry

That's no way to bow to HRH Hellaciousness (aka Harry).
Picture: Courtsey of The Sun.

There's been a bit in the British Press lately about people no longer curtsying the Queen and according to one UK television presenter, Prince Harry's the only royal worth bowing for.

Richard Kay from The Daily Mail reports: 'Loose Women presenter Carol McGiffin says she would curtsey to the Queen, but not to the minor royals. Asked on the ITV lunchtime show yesterday if she might make an exception for Prince Harry, the frisky 48-year-old former wife of DJ Chris Evans said: "I would not curtsey, but I might do quite a low bow - he's gorgeous."'

I can't say I blame the woman. Harry is incredibly hellacious and becoming more so as the years go by. But let's see if Chelsy finds this at all funny.

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Kate Middleton holidays at Jigsaw owners luxury villa

Has Kate done another deal with Jigsaw?
Richard Kay from The Daily Mail has revealed that Prince William and Kate Middleton are holidaying in Mustique. Last time there the onff pair rented a luxury villa. This time, according to Kay, the couple have been given use of a luxury villa owned by Kate's former Jigsaw employers, Belle and John Robinson. Last time the pair holidaying at the "Jigsaw" villa they reportedly made a small donation to some obscure charity. Meanwhile some pondered whether Kate had just done another one of her amazing "deals" in exchange for her name being linked with the Jigsaw chain.

The Mustique holiday is just over a week after Belle's revelations in The Evening Standard, where she detailed Kate's time as her employee "mucking in" (which incidently, was followed promptly by pictures of Kate "mucking in" at her parents business, in what can only be called as an effort to reinforce the image of Kate "mucking in"). The more cynical amongst us would once again question whether this latest jaunt was just another "deal" done by Middleton.

Is Issa angling for publicity ahead of London Fashion Week?

This news comes hot on the heels of designer brand Issa's confirmation that Kate Middleton was given wardrobes of outfits. We not only learned that Kate had "chosen" the Issa brand as her "choice" of clothing but that she had received huge amounts of clothes for free. A source told the Daily Mail: ‘Kate must have thousands of pounds worth of gifted dresses. Issa is incredibly generous with her.’

And why, one might ask, are we now just hearing about Kate's "unofficial" endorsement and deal with Issa? It's London Fashion Week next month.

Click here to read more about Kate & William's luxury holiday to Mustique.
Click here to read more about Kate and Issa.

Tuesday, 5 August 2008

Isaa oops for Kate Middleton

Kate: Jobless and potless.
Ouch! Kate Middleton's feelings must be hurt by the current crop of criticisms and sharp commentary from the UK media. Today the Daily Mirror's razor tongued (but very astute) columnist, Sue Carroll writes about Kate's "deal" with Issa. She writes: 'Prince William's girlfriend "please call me Kate" Middleton has been described by BA staff as down-to-earth for refusing a first-class upgrade on a flight to Barbados where she'll enjoy her second Caribbean holiday with William this year. Very noble. Though travelling club class isn't exactly slumming it in economy with the hoi polloi. One suspects this good news came along just in time to bury the not-so-great news that Kate's wardrobe is supplemented by "bag-loads" of frocks delivered to her door by Brazilian designer Daniella Issa Helayel. '

Ms Carroll is one of those journalists who calls a spade a spade and never takes any prisoners in a vain effort of being "unbiased". If she has something to say she just tells you straight. So it's refreshing to read her next few lines about Kate's Issa freebies and how uninspiring she finds the designer label: 'I can't say I blame a girl for accepting a freebie, especially when she's jobless and potless. But why Issa? Maybe Kate likes her frocks the way she likes her men, classic but without any obvious flair. When Princess Diana emerged in a new creation, fashion manufacturers would rush out a replica the very next day. It helped the industry and pleased the public. But are we all screaming for an Issa? Hate to say it but there's not an awful lot to copy in Brazil. '

The Daily Mail article comes hot on the heels of 3 other comment pieces in The Observer, The Independent On Sunday and The Sunday Times (the more reasonable publications many would argue). The Observer "A Good Week For/A Bad Week For" lists it as being a good week for Kate but with a definate sting in the tail: 'A good week for Kate Middleton. The princess-in-waiting turned down an upgrade to first class on her way to meet Prince William, we learnt last week. Good girl. Better still that the press was tipped off. 'Humble,' as the Sun says.'

Next to the Independent on Sunday's Matthew Bell whose barbed comment mirrors the sentiments of royal fans: 'Kate Middleton has joined Prince William in Mustique for a holiday following his drugs-busting exploits with the Navy. One newspaper reported that on the flight from London to Barbados, Kate refused an upgrade to first class, and insisted the stewards call her Kate. This is odd – I'm told that for some time, Kate has been asking friends to address her by her full name, Catherine. Catherine is thought more fitting for a princess. And, in the meantime, it has the advantage of not rhyming with 'wait', which unkind folk say is all she does now.'

Lastly, The Sunday Times' Shane Watson whose article on Sienna Miller and her latest failed romance showed that more than one person is "eh" about this onff relationship: 'He [Balthazar Getty] is the one with the four children and the wife and everything to lose — but there is only one home-wrecker in this scenario and it’s that slut Sienna. Just as Angelina was the downfall of poor, hapless Brad, and the girl who comes between Prince William and Kate (here’s hoping) will be branded a near-engagement-wrecker. '

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Sunday, 3 August 2008

Kate Middleton buys "Diana" book

Kate's bizarre book buying.
In a baffling move, Kate Middleton has reportedly bought a book about the late Diana, Princess of Wales. Written by ex-Vanity Fair editor Tina Brown, "The Diana Chronicles" has had it's share of critics. It was blasted as the most savage attack on Diana ever. Of the books contents, a friend of Ms Brown's told the Daily Mail before it's official launch (just 4 months before the 10th anniversary of Diana's death): "Almost everyone except Charles, William and Harry comes off badly - the Queen, Camilla and, most of all, Di."

Having reportedly bought the book for her jaunt to the Caribbean let's hope Kate doesn't let Wills see her reading it. After all, both Wills and Harry have complained about those who sellout their mother's memory by writing books to line their own pockets.

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Another commerical deal for Kate Middleton?

Yet another deal for Middleton?
She's gotten a discount Audi, handbags galore, luxury holidays and nights out on the town, now it's been revealed that Kate Middleton is also gaining a huge wardrobe in her role as onff girlfriend of the future King.

Brazilian designer Daniella Issa Helayel (of the Issa brand) is delighted to have Kate Middleton as one of her clients. It seems that not only is Kate wearing the label she's getting it for free. Katie Nicholl from the Mail On Sunday writes: 'Kate enjoys a VIP service from the firm and receives a complimentary wardrobe, with ‘ bag- loads’ of Issa frocks being sent to her home.'

Wearing the Brazillian designs at the Philips/Kelly wedding, Wimbledon as well as to the Boodles Boxing Ball, Kate is reportedly now being dubbed Issa's ‘unofficial ambassador’ in what could be described as a similar deal to that between Jigsaw and Kate Middleton.

Ms Nichols quotes a source: "Kate must have thousands of pounds worth of gifted dresses,’ said a source. ‘Issa is incredibly generous with her. Issa is one of Kate’s favourite labels and she is always at its offices choosing dresses. They also courier bag-loads of frocks to her house for her to try on in her own time. There is no limit on what she is allowed to take. Kate gets sent so many clothes from other labels but many go back unworn. Her taste is quite classic and that’s why she goes for Issa’s print wrap dresses. She loves their floor- length gowns for black- tie events. She’s a size six and the dresses all look great on her. She often lets her sister Pippa wear them, too. When Issa sent her the floor-length pink gown to wear to the Boodles do, she absolutely loved it and knew it would be a showstopper. Kate actually loves all the attention of being photographed and she knew she’d steal the show in that gown. It worked – she outshone everyone in the room, even Chelsy Davy."

All of this leaves a very bad taste in royal fans mouths with the comments section of this article overwhelmingly negative about Kate and her freebie lifestyle.

Saturday, 2 August 2008

Prince William on the move: New staff but no job?

How about a job at McDonalds?

Prince William maybe about to cut the apron strings between himself and his father. The heir to the heir is about to get his own office and brand new staff at St James Palace in a £1,000000 refurbishment that is set to make Wills more independent from the stuffy types who have in the past advised him. For a long time royal fans have called for Wills to get his own office because of the seemingly ineptness of Clarence House officials and now perhaps they may all breath a sigh of relief.

Although at 26 he's finally getting a bit of freedom from his father, it seems that Wills is not leaving the nest completely. He's set to remain in his Clarence House apartment that he shares with Prince Harry. And for the time being at least, this means any engagement to Kate Middleton may be on the back burner.

But is an office that is independent from Charles enough to help Wills find his feet? Amanda Platell from The Daily Mail thinks not. She writes: 'Wills must get a job or he'll end up like Charles.'

Again echoing the calls from royal fans, Amanda is concerned with the way Clarence House officials handle the young prince. She writes: 'The fault lies with the Palace spin doctors trying to improve the Prince's playboy image. Alas, their recent attempts have been beyond parody.' Then she continues: 'Soon, doubtless, we'll be told that Wills has earned the admiration of his SAS colleagues by taking part in some daring enterprise - the siege of Boujis, perhaps.'

With these growing fears of another "Charles", Amanda Platell at least has a solution: 'By all accounts, William is, in fact, an intelligent and likeable young man. What he desperately needs is a proper job - the very thing his self-pitying father never had.'

Also in her sights (appeasing some royalists) is the eternally jobless Kate Middleton: 'And while the Palace is at it, shouldn't they find proper employment for Kate Middleton, too, if she is to be a royal fixture? (On the evidence so far, the only difference between work-shy 'Waity' Katie and Camilla is about four decades and a lorry-load of Silk Cut.)'

Friday, 1 August 2008

Isabella Calthorpe talks about Prince William and Kate Middleton

Isabella Calthorpe caught Prince William's eye in 2005.

She was the girl that held Prince William's attention at a summer ball and in the process he totally ignored ONFF girlfriend Kate. Aristocrat, actress, dancer and singer Isabella Calthorpe has spoken to ES Magazine about her life, love with Sam Branson and Prince William.

When asked by ES Magazine's Marianne Macdonald about the tabloid reports concerning her friendship with Prince William, Isabella said: "That was just... um... a bit weird, and a bit unsettling." Isbella confirmed that she only met Wills after the pair had attended university in Scotland and said that they meet up regularly: "Um... yes. No, I did, and he's a friend."

During the summer of 2005 Prince William reportedly met Isabella at a charity ball. It was said at the time that Wills left Kate to sit like a wallflower all night whilst he danced, chatted and laughed the night away with Miss Calthorpe. Some other reports allege that Wills was seen passionately kissing Isabella at a nightclub a few weeks later. Although this history appears to exists between them, it seems that all is well between Wills'ladies. When asked if she had met Kate, Isabella said diplomatically: "Yes, I have met her once and she's lovely."

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Stay boring Kate Middleton

Kate is no Diana.

It's not often that journalists write something that puts the whole Kate-drama into perspective but Viv Groskop from The Evening Standard does just that in her opinion piece called: Sorry, plain Kate is no Diana.

Scoffing at Kate's inclusion in the latest Vanity Fair Best Dressed list, Ms Groskop (like most of us) was baffled at how anyone could compare Kate to the world's fashion elite. But it seems that this is one journalist who shares the growing opinions of a lot of royal fans. Groskop writes: "In this company she is a Sloane way out of her depth. She always looks so incredibly boring — and is the world’s worst advert for Jigsaw. Her inclusion on the list smacks of a blind desperation to unearth a new Diana-esque style icon, regardless of all sartorial evidence to the contrary."

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Prince William to have tea & biscuits with the SAS

During his last stint in the army, Wills learnt to point.

When is a stint not a stint but a visit? When you're Prince William and you're stints in each of the armed services have been met with a degree of cynacism. When he arrives back from his luxury break with Kate Middleton, Prince William will "visit" the SAS. This lastest stunt, sorry, visit will last 5 months and show Wills the most elite of fighting units in the British army.

A Clarence House official stressed that whilst William's visit is important he will not see any sort of combat or be involved in any type of operational activities. Well might you wonder why he's bothering with this visit but it seems that the heir to the heir of the British throne might find the experience enjoyable. A MoD source told the Daily Mail: "William won’t be joining the Special Forces in any hands-on role but we feel it is important that he learns more about them. They are a small but massively important part of the country’s defences and are currently serving in Iraq and Afghanistan to great effect. This is going to be an incredibly exciting experience for William. It’s real Boys’ Own stuff."

Kate Middleton: VIP or not?

Waity Katie exchanges her image for another free holiday.

Kate Middleton was hailed an "ordinary" person when she reportedly refused the invite of an upgrade to 1st class on her Barbados bound BA flight. After telling BA staff to "Call me Kate" her "normalness" doesn't seem to have lasted very long according to Richard Kay of the Daily Mail. He writes: 'SHE hates her nickname ‘Waity Katie’, so Prince William’s girlfriend Kate Middleton must have been refreshed when reports of her refusal to accept a first-class upgrade from British Airways reached home. Alas, Kate’s humility was not the whole story. For when she landed in Barbados on her way to a holiday with William, she left the economy flying hoi polloi behind. On leaving the plane to get a flight to Mustique, Kate was met by police who took her through immigration, customs and bag collection.'

According to Kay's source, it was then that Kate cast aside any claims of normality to receive the full VIP treatment. His source said: "She was taken to a VIP suite reserved for visiting dignitaries and then escorted to a waiting plane. She was treated like royalty."

It also seems that Kate's penchant for commercial deals in exchange for luxury holidays hasn't stopped. Kay reports: 'Meanwhile, I am told William and Kate will be the star turns at a party next week to mark the 40th anniversary of the Mustique resort being set up by Princess Margaret’s pal Lord Glenconner.'

It's nice to know that even the unemployed can get by.

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